oh mind where are thou?

when i found out i was pregnant with wyatt i read all i could and got advice from seasoned moms and the d word kept coming up. not dad, doula, or diapers but dumb. i was being warned that pregnancy hormones makes you dumb and stupid so beware and take every precaution possible. i laughed in the face of advice and went about my business of getting round and preparing a baby room, until......
i went to giant food to buy groceries like i had done a gozillion times before. after the nice lady checked all my items i swiped my debit card as quickly as doc holiday draws his gun, and the machine flashed 3 little letters p-i-n. i stared at those letters like it was a quantum physics problem. after several failed attempts i had to come to the realization that my 4-digit pin was lost in the abyss of hormonal stupidity.
the hormones attacked every hemisphere of my brain leaving no room for further damage with my second pregnancy. the addition of ty did bring on a different type of forgetfulness and stupidity. i shall call it double kid-nesia. double kid-nesia is when two or more kids stress the brain and other body parts to forgetfulness, confusion and exhaustion.
there have been times where i have found coffee cups in the linen closet. i couldn't remember the name of the road i was on, which led to me to wonder if i was really on a road at all. i have entered the walmart check out questioning if all the things i had put in the cart were still there. i have gone back into the grocery store and walmart multiply times hunting for left behind, in the chaos, personal effects. my arms have put ads in the paper requesting alternate residence because their current one is more like a sweatshop than a two bedroom, plush carpet, balcony, over looking the ocean condo. i have had to sit and try to remember if i have brushed my teeth, eaten or peed.
at the end of the day the daily chores and tasks of dealing with two little ones turns my brain into oatmeal. but there are a few things i do know and will never forget. i know i was created to be a mom. i do know that i will always love them with an indescribable love. my arms will never be too tired to hold and comfort. i also know that laughing is the best medicine for any boo boo and foul attitude. i will never forget the feeling and emotion i felt when i saw and held them for the first time. i know i have to rely on the Lords strength everyday to get me through everyday. i know it's an undeserved privilege to have these little men. i know it's a gigantic task to raise them in the Lord and to teach them to be His warriors. i also know that i am insanely and incredibly blessed.
i have no clue if i'm coming or going, in or out, frontwards, backwards, sideways or somewhere in between. but i do know without a shadow of a doubt, they are worth a few brain cells.